After listening to the national pundits proclaim the Steelers the inevitable champions and seeing the Las Vegas line continue to climb, the Arizona Cardinals have decided to forego playing in the Super Bowl.
“Yeah, it’s been over 40 something years since we played for a championship, aren’t we getting a little ahead of ourselves thinking we can beat a team like the Steelers?” said head coach Ken Whisenhunt.
Sentiments echoed by starting quarterback Kurt Warner, “Yeah, I’ve been on a Super Bowl winning team and been the MVP. I can tell you, we have zero chance. There’s really no point embarrassing ourselves by playing. I think we’d be better served just getting a jump on next year’s preparation.”
Taking this under advisement, team owner Bill Bidwell has deferred to the Steelers, saying, “Hey, we have our championship. The N-F-C championship. It’s been such a great year. I’d hate to ruin it.”
But it should be noted not all of the Cardinals agree. Backup quarterback and former first round pick Matt Leinart could be heard in the background, “I want to play. You know, if Kurt doesn’t want to play. I mean, I’d love to be in a real game and stuff. We wouldn’t even have to win or anything.”
From the Steelers training facility, Defense All Pro and Prell Shampoo spokes-model, Troy Polamalu when asked to comment had this to say, “I’m glad they went ahead and deferred. I mean, c’mon, you can’t be serious with all of your ‘that’s why they play the game,’ ‘any given Sunday’ talk. I mean, did you really think they were going to beat the Panthers? No. Did you really think they were going to beat the Eagles? No. They’ve taken it far enough.”
“It’s really cute how they’re trying and hey, they’ve even won some games. I’m proud of them,” added defensive stalwart Casey Hampton, “But you know, beating a team coached by a guy who calls plays from a Waffle House menu and a team that is quarterbacked by a guy who reads coverages like it was the Da Vinci Code, that’s no great shakes. If they show up, we’ll play them I guess. But it won’t change the outcome.”
From his office, Steelers coach Mike Tomlin had only this to say, “with these eyes, I can see through your soul! Though your soul!”