Seahawks O-line? Who the @#$%* is asking?

Published on August 3, 2010 by     

Clearly among the most crucial components of Seattle Seahawks reconstruction is the offensive line. In part because of ineffectiveness up front, the 2009 Seahawks couldn’t run, pass, score or win.

In comes Alex Gibbs, They used their first draft pick on left tackle Russell Okung to address the issue. But even more critical to reshaping the line was the hiring of veteran coach Alex Gibbs.

Gibbs has a reputation for being tough and gruff, and is not only personally mute toward the media, he discourages his entire unit from conducting interviews.

It’s apparently a function of group-think. Gibbs wants nobody getting attention above the others. They operate as a unit on the field, and that’s how he wants them to act at all times.

So, if you’re a fan and are hoping to get some first-person insights into how the line is progressing, you’re pretty much out of luck. Hey, frankly, if it somehow helps them learn to block, almost everybody around here will willingly forgo the quotes explaining how it happened.

But in the absence of access to Gibbs and the players themselves, we’re left to speculate on what they might say if they ever agreed to stop and answer inquiries.

Here’s the wholly fabricated transcript of the fictitious interview:

Me: “Coach Gibbs, you’re reputed to be a demanding taskmaster with your players and uncommunicative with the media, why did you decide to chat today?”

Gibbs: “Well, Dave … you don’t mind if I call you Dave, do you? Dave, yes, we do tend to be circumspect in most cases, but I’ve been a big fan of your work for a long time. You truly grasp the subtleties and nuances of offensive line play.”

Me: “Really?”

Gibbs: “No, &%$#!-head, I’m just @#$%* with ya.”

Me: “Coach, I see that you conduct all your practice sessions dealing with the entire unit or at least small groups, but don’t work much on individual techniques.”

Gibbs: “That’s because a member of our brotherhood never stands alone. There are no individuals.”

Me: “Like a little socialist society?”

Gibbs: “I don’t even learn their @#$%* names.”

Me: “OK, let’s see, how about that guy over there wearing No. 66, who’s that?”

Gibbs: “No @#$%* clue.”

Me: “That’s Mansfield Wrotto.”

Gibbs: “*&#(^$# … I don’t have any linemen named Mansfield, you’re @#$%* crazy, boy. Mansfield. Ha. *&(*^%.”

Me: “OK, well, what do you have to say to rookie tackle Russell Okung, who hasn’t signed his contract, and is missing time while waiting on a possible deal that could make him $30 million guaranteed?”

Gibbs: “He won’t ever see that @#$%* much. I told you, there are no individuals; we pool our checks every week and divide the sum equally.”

Me: “Does Okung know that?

Gibbs: “Why the *&*^$* do you think he’s holding out?”

Me: “OK, let’s talk to some of the players. Chris, Chris Spencer, you reportedly had a great offseason and are highly motivated. Is that because you sense that injuries and other factors over the past five seasons might have left you falling somewhat short of the expectations that the public holds for a first-round draft pick?”

Spencer: “Well, yeah, there’s that, but mostly it’s because Gibbs scares the daylights outta me. Have you heard that guy? Sheesh, he’s tough.”

Me: “Let’s move over to right guard Max Unger. Max, after a rookie season in which you played both guard and center, what is the main thing you have learned from coach Gibbs thus far?

Unger: “Lotta new cuss words.”

Me: “Back to you, Coach. Can you summarize the main challenges at this point?”

Gibbs: “Were you dropped on your head as a baby? Let’s see, how about giving up 41 @#$%* sacks last season? Or being ranked @#$%* 26th in rushing. Or scoring only *&(%* 17.5 points a game? Summarize that.”

Me: “Well, I’d like to thank you coach for taking the time to participate in this mythical interview.”

Gibbs: “Sure … nice not talking to you. I’ll be happy to not talk to you every day after practice. But I gotta run.”

Me: “What’s up, Coach, film session?”

Gibbs: “I gotta check and see if I really have a guy named Mansfield on my line.”

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Fair Use Notice This website may at times present copyrighted material, the use of which might not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. Such material is made available in an effort to advance understandings of democratic, economic, environmental, human rights, political, scientific, and social justice issues, among others. The author believes that this constitutes a fair use of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the U. S. Copyright Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, the articles published on this website are distributed without profit for research and informational purposes. In most instances a link is placed to originator of Article and it is never expressly mentioned as written by, we use published by certain entities who write or publish for this said Blog..

Tell Us What's On Your Mind (0)




WP-SpamFree by Pole Position Marketing

REMEMBERING A LEGEND!

LATEST SEAHAWKS NEWS

141124wagner660

Bobby Wagner goes from not playing for five games to playing all but one play vs Cardinals

After missing five games with a toe injury, Bobby Wagner was back at middle linebacker for Sunday’s win ...
141125-nfcwest-660

Know Your Enemy: NFC West Update on 49ers, Rams, Cardinals

Seattle's Week 12 win over the Arizona Cardinals should make for a more interesting stretch-run in the hyper-competitive ...
141124mmm660

Russell Wilson’s impromptu plays paved way for important victory

This one, as it turned, also was on Russell Wilson. After a week in which the Seahawks’ third-year quarterback ...
141123wagner660a

Seahawks cut Cardinals’ lead in NFC West to two games

In a game they had to have, the Seahawks regained their swagger and recaptured their dominating ways in ...
140904glance660

Seahawks play like the champs, roll Packers, 36-16

So this is what defending a Super Bowl championship looks like. Actually, it looked plenty like how the Seahawks ...
140902britt600

The Avril affect has played into Justin Britt’s development

If Pete Carroll has said it once, the Seahawks’ coach has said it just about every time he ...
140828walters600

Seahawks re-sign WR Bryan Walters, waive WR Phil Bates

Bryan Walters’ weekend was a lot like his performance in the Seahawks’ preseason finale on Thursday night. It ...
20140901upnext600

Up next: Green Bay Packers

As Super Bowl champions, the Seahawks will host the NFL regular-season opener at CenturyLink Field on Thursday night. ...

Shop for 2014 Seahawks Gameday Gear at NFLShop.com

Shop for 2014 Seahawks Gameday Gear at NFLShop.com

lat-noise-wre0011368363-20130915

WELCOME TO THE SEAHAWKS 12TH MAN ARMY.

WE TAKE PRIDE IN GIVING SEAHAWKS FANS AROUND THE CLOCK UPDATES,  ALL SEAHAWKS ALL THE TIME. SO IF YOU WANT THE LATEST SEAHAWKS NEWS DELIVERED FOR FREE RIGHT TO YOUR EMAIL BOX ONCE A WEEK, SIGN UP AND ENJOY!

WE HAVE BEEN PROUDLY SERVING DIEHARD SEAHAWKS FANS SINCE 2004.

Enter your Email

Preview | Powered by FeedBlitz